


Hopper

by AXEe



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Spoilers for Episode: s12e03 Orphan 55
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:48:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22290583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AXEe/pseuds/AXEe
Summary: When your spouse is The Doctor, something as simple as getting a snack can be an adventure...
Relationships: The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Rose Tyler, Thirteenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 20
Kudos: 45





	Hopper

**Author's Note:**

> A 13/Rose take on the 'hopper virus' scene from "Orphan 55", hopefully it'll be as funny as the original :=)

******

"Ow!"

Rose yanked her hand back from the vending machine, scowling as she shook out her stinging, tingling hand.

"You all right?" The Doctor asked, coming over.

"Yeah," Rose nodded "just got a shock, it's..." she was about say 'it's fine', but the strange orange shimmer now looping around under the skin of her palm had her stopping mid-sentence.

"Ooh, Rose," The Doctor took her hand in her own, clucking disapprovingly like the proverbial mother hen "OK, now _that_ is a hopper virus," she explained "hold on," she dug around in her pockets, unearthing a sheet of paper and a marker. Quickly writing something on the paper, she put the marker away and then, pulling a roll of tape out of her pocket, taped the paper to the vending machine.

**OUT OF ORDER**

"Right, that's sorted, now back to you" taking Rose's hand, she frowned, the two of them watching as the shimmer of light suddenly disappeared along Rose's wrist.

"Doctor?" Rose questioned.

"OK, OK, don't panic, don't panic," The Doctor told her hurriedly, sounding on the verge of panicking herself "you Humans always panic. Not to worry, we caught it in time, it'll be fine. Just don't pick at it"

Still staring at her hand, Rose watched as her fingers began wiggling.

"I'm not doing that" she said.

"No, no, of course you're not," The Doctor assured her, suddenly coming around behind her and hooking her arms under Rose's "that's just your nervous systems reacting to the presence of the hopper virus in your system. Means that your legs about to give out...and..."

Rose gasped as her legs suddenly turned to jelly (and not in the good way either).

"Oh! OK! Got you! Easy, easy!" grunting, The Doctor eased her down, propping her up against the wall "OK, hang on," reaching over, she grabbed an empty cup out of a nearby trashcan.

"Right," she held the cup under Rose's mouth "hold this," she instructed "and now...we pinch your ear"

"OW! You bloody...!"

"Almost sorted!" The Doctor beamed, suddenly thrusting the cup back under Rose's face "and now you're going to sneeze,"

As if on cue, Rose found herself doing just that. Which hurt. A lot.

"Ah! There we are!" The Doctor proudly showed her the cup, where a wriggling, maggot-like creature now sat at the bottom.

"I still can't feel my legs" Rose pointed out.

"No, sorry, we're not quite done yet," The Doctor told her "OK. so," she took Rose's hand, curling her numb fingers into a loose fist, and then suddenly sticking her thumb into her mouth "now, you're going to suck your thumb until the hallucinations go away" she explained.

"Huh?" Rose asked around her thumb.

"Don't worry, they'll look scary, but they're harmless," The Doctor assured her "just remember, they're not real bats" she added.

Not real bats?

_Oh._

Not real bats.

Glowering at her wife through the halllucinations of a flock of _very large_ , very life-like, bats now swarming around her, Rose thumped her head against the wall as she dutifully continued to suck her thumb, silently vowing to make her wife pay for this with a trip to a spa that didn't have infected vending machines.

Or maybe a spa that just didn't have any vending machines period, either one was good...

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought :=)


End file.
